God has entrusted my husband and me with four souls to care for on this side of heaven. Being a parent is a high and noble calling. It is also a challenging and sanctifying calling. It was not until I became a mother that I became acutely aware of how selfish I am. I always knew that my natural bent was toward selfishness. But wow! The reality of raising small humans makes one painfully aware of how many thoughts, decisions, and actions are rooted in personal preference, personal desires, and personal goals. Being a mother demands selflessness. Every day. Even when I don’t feel like putting my children and their needs, desires, and preferences first. The act of “dying to self “ often seems quite countercultural . . . and also impossible. But in my short seven years, nine months, and eleven days of being a mother, God has graciously taught me, trained me, and equipped me in my feeble efforts to reflect His love for me, his precious daughter, as I work at being a mother.

Much of the teaching, training, and equipping that God has provided has come straight from His Word. And much of it has come through community. I am thankful that God has continually placed women in my life to walk alongside me during each stage of motherhood, and I am immensely thankful for the mentoring mothers with whom I have crossed paths along the way. It truly takes a village to raise children. And every day I am more and more convinced that this truth stems from the constant need for encouragement, support, and accountability that parents must have along the way.

I was recently encouraged by time spent with a woman who has been in the arena of mothering much longer than I have. She shared several mantras that have served her well in the realm of parenting. One of these mantras was striving to and encouraging her children to “be a joy”. She stated that this simple directive encompassed the principles and truths by which their family lived. And choosing joy is actually a mantra that I grew up learning from my own mother.

I have read that joy could easily be considered the directive of Christian living . . . Jesus first. Then Others. Finally Yourself. J.O.Y. But the reality of joy is that it is a choice. Unlike happiness, it is not determined by fleeting circumstances or feelings or preferences, but rather it is rooted in a commitment to choosing a response that reflects the source of one’s hope. And for me personally, “my hope is built on nothing less than Jesus’ blood and righteousness.” It is only by Him, through Him, and in Him that I am able to enter the arena of motherhood and choose JOY.

We are all doing this mothering thing imperfectly. Myself included. But even on the days when I feel like I have gravely failed my children and that all four of them are going to spend a small fortune on counseling once they leave our home, more often than not I have experienced the tangible grace of community. On so many occasions when I feel defeated and tired, I have been met with an understanding glance from a stranger, I have received a timely and encouraging text from a dear friend, or I have been gently challenged by a sister in Christ who is striving right along with me.

With each new day, God has poured out his Spirit on me to convict me, challenge me, correct me, and grant me courage in this calling of motherhood. It is only by His grace that I am able to show up every day and simply do my best.